Monday,August 22nd, 2005
| The Skeleton Key is a great movie. | ||
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So there's this movie called The Skeleton Key and it should actually be called The Skkkeleton KKKey because the whole movie hated black people. Now, before I continue, if, for some reason, you do not want the movie spoiled, you should probably stop reading now because it would be quite the travesty if you were to find out that the surprise twist ending is that the white grandma is not really an white grandma at all, but a dead black chick, and that white lawyer is not really a white lawyer at all, but a dead black dude. And that they spend their time tricking and killing white people. The way they do this is by using voodoo magic, which is something that only black people know because black people are mystical and mysterious and stuff, kind of like vampires and boogeymen and all other kinds of make believe. They take over the bodies of white people by tricking them into thinking that they are protecting themselves but what they are REALLY doing is preventing themselves from escaping. Escaping from what, you may ask? Well, the horrible, terrifying BLACK PEOPLE, duh. In taking over the bodies of these white people, the black couple are allowed to live the remainder of what would have been their victims' lives. And what exactly does this mean? Well it means that the black couple will have another couple years to trick and kill another white person and steal their body so that they can do it all over again. Joy! So what's so scary about that, you might ask? Absolutely nothing. In fact, I think the scariest part of the entire movie was when the young, attractive white girl goes to the gas station and bam outta nowhere there's this big black guy and everyone in the theatre screams because black people are scary and they apparently trick you and kill you and steal your body so that they can trick and kill all your friends too. Now is it just me, or is there a subtle undertone here? Something along the lines of racial equality and the betterment of the African American peoples. You see, the moral of the movie is that black people are not to be feared, but embraced, for they are completely trustworthy and not going to kill you. The Skeleton Key espouses an America free of any preconcieved notions of any persons of any race or creed, and where Martin Luther King Jr. once said "I have a dream," the Skeleton Key proudly proclaims "I have a scream." And it is in that scream that we are able to see that oh fuck it the Skeleton Key is a shitty, racist movie and you should never ever see it. |
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