Indie As Hell: Xoldiers
Posted by Mr. Podunkian at 8:37 pm on November 15th, 2008
Sun-Tzu’s The Art of War. A misleading title at best, a poorly written account that is devoid of any intellectually stimulating thoughts regarding Art — focusing instead on the inanities of War. War, a concept as old as Art itself, yet so disparate that not even a book called The Art of War could bridge the two. War and Art, like two twins, separated at birth, never to learn of their biological link. That is, until two artists penned a figurative The War of Art, a work that seamlessly integrates two concepts, doing in one day what Sun-Tzu could not do in his entire lifetime. I speak, of course of cactus and Terry Cavanagh‘s latest gamepiece, Xoldiers.
The game makes Passage look like an autistic child’s crayon scribbles.
Like Passage, Xoldiers metaphorically comments on life through the act of walking right. You play not as a single entity, but as a collective — a 3 x 3 grid of soldiers who are armed with guns, grenades, and the ability to lay down. You must travel rightward towards the palace, facing insurmountable opposition in the form of enemy tanks, jeeps, and buildings, but none more opposing than your own team, for you see, your unit works as a whole — if one soldier gets caught on an obstacle, your entire unit cannot progress further.
“Leave no man behind”.
If Passage comments on love by saying it will prevent you from collecting treasure boxes, Xoldiers comments on love (albiet a different, more homosexual kind of love), by saying “there is no place for love in the battlefield. Love for your brothers will only hinder you from fulfilling your mission.”
Now, I know homosexuality is a bit of a touchy subject (especially with artists), but I am not pulling out this homosexual thing from the ether. The troop’s commander says quite explicity that “War is a man’s game”. And when it comes to man games, two’s company, nine’s a crowd.
Xoldiers (Direct Link) by cactus and Terry Cavanagh, 1.62 MB
November 16th, 2008 at 4:22 am
cool
November 16th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
took you long enough turdface
November 17th, 2008 at 8:19 am
pls just tell what the game is about pls
November 17th, 2008 at 9:52 am
its about you are 9 guys and you are fighting a war but its really about how gay you are
November 17th, 2008 at 9:58 am
*disclaimer* btw there’s nothing wrong with being gay *disclaimer*
November 17th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Its obviously not about war, because in war tanks can actually move, and here they sit like tin cans.
November 17th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
No, it is about war. The tank operators are just petrified due to the extreme manliness of your Xoldiers.
November 17th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
youre half right. imagine the kind of issues that would arise from rolling a tank over whats essentially a gay pride parade. it’s not only murder — its a hate crime.
November 18th, 2008 at 3:54 am
but shooting at them is alright??? ur dumb
November 18th, 2008 at 6:31 am
I think its ok as long as the tank driver is gay as well.
November 18th, 2008 at 6:34 am
Also, I think there is something missing in this game. The real people who are responsible for war are women.
Women are soldiers factories.
They create as much babies as they can, those babies grow up, and due to over population, they fight about the finite territory in the world.
I think that the game would be complete only if instead of destroying those buildings, you would have to destroy pregnant women as well.
But thats just my opinion.
November 18th, 2008 at 6:39 am
And thinkg about it, the gay people who go to war, suffer in war. But they don’t create new soliders, Only women, who don’t go to war, create new gay people to go and fight for them.
November 18th, 2008 at 7:33 am
i never quite understood that… ‘the big picture’….
November 18th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
its about you are 9 guys and you are fighting a war but its really about how gay you are
that’s the funniest thing i have read in the last 150 years.
November 18th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Don’t ask, don’t tell. Such is the life of the Universal Xoldier. Blasting off into Faggot Space to fight untold wars.
November 19th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
IM GAY!!! (heh)
November 20th, 2008 at 5:06 am
Is it a hate crime if you are gay and kill heteros?
November 21st, 2008 at 4:00 am
gays don’t hate. gays also don’t commit crimes besides their obvious crimes against the TRUE, GOD MANDATED DEFINITION OF “FAMILY.”
November 21st, 2008 at 5:19 am
To be honest, I can’t see gay people as a family. “Fuck buddies” would be the best definition, as long as they just have gay sex and don’t try to do anything familious, like moving to suburbs or living in the same house without having sex.
November 21st, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Gays are animals.
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:09 am
About this gay-issue, this article was quite a good read:
http://kotaku.com/5093970/vexed-by-online-bigots-language-psychologists-say-they-want-you-to-be?skyline=true&s=x
You might want to check it out.
November 24th, 2008 at 8:55 am
It was too long, I don’t have much time to read as I spend all the time I can insulting people online.
November 24th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
This article is gay.
November 27th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
make a new update u dumheads!!!
December 2nd, 2008 at 4:21 pm
FART
December 5th, 2008 at 9:37 am
This lack of news is so indie.
December 5th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Does indie exist anymore?
December 5th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
review night of the cephalopods its v. indie
December 6th, 2008 at 3:21 am
People still make indie games?
December 6th, 2008 at 4:54 am
Ask not what you can do for Indie Games,
But what Indie Games can do for Yu.
December 6th, 2008 at 5:18 am
I think indie games has become a more established industry.
If you make a decent game, you have allot more buissnes options than you used to have in the past.
Even microsoft have XBOX Live now.
So I am not sure what is indie anymore.
December 6th, 2008 at 6:30 am
its me im indie
December 6th, 2008 at 7:19 am
I really doubt your indieness
December 6th, 2008 at 7:19 am
Even indiana jhones is not indie anymore.
December 6th, 2008 at 10:08 am
where’s the new post
December 9th, 2008 at 9:40 am
The new post is a hidden one. Only a truly indie person (or faggot) can find it.
December 9th, 2008 at 10:15 am
I need a new post, how can I possibly know what is hip and indie if I don’t have someone telling me it is!
Why don’t you guys complaining here in the comments check out Verge? http://www.kylepulver.com/view.php?id=45
December 10th, 2008 at 7:55 am
Oh no, don’t drag me into this.
December 11th, 2008 at 5:58 am
verge was actually really cool — it incorporated a lot of ideas that i had thought about for the underside, but i think it was interesting seeing how these ideas were implemented, and moreover, how well they were done so. i honestly have a soft spot for MMF games, and i think both bonesaw and verge, as well as konjak’s stuff, and (at the expense of sounding self-righteous) my stuff do a really great job of exposing just how flexible MMF can be at the hands of people who’re willing to work around its limitations.
honestly, i’ve been awfully busy with my schoolwork, and there really hasn’t been anything in the realm of the sort of things we tend to cover coming out lately so it’s been hard to write a new article, but i’m hoping that people’ll have a lot more free time during the holidays to finish up their projects, and that we’ll get more things to work with and hopefully, to destroy.
December 11th, 2008 at 6:44 am
Mr. Podunkian.
I didn’t know an indie developer like you has to justify himself to anyone, or explain why he do or doesn’t do something or anything.
December 11th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
review night of the cephalopods u nig ger
December 12th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
I thought verge was made in Game Maker… and by thought I mean know.
*touts superior indie knowledge*
December 12th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
oh you’re right. i’ll go eat a cock now.
December 14th, 2008 at 2:23 am
wwhere is the next post??
scrap collector is pretty indie so idk. do that one or maybe like a different one, lol.
i’m abraham lincoln.
December 14th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Hey, my cousine made a pong clone, can you make a post about it? It will make him very happy.
Also I know a friend who likes to knit and she knitted a sock. Since this is somewhat similar to knytt stories, can you post about that to?
December 14th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
don’t mock me or i’ll have you thrown into the deep south
hard
December 15th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
abe ill throw myslef into you deep south hard if you know what I mean
December 28th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
post a new post
December 29th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
review verge or something u nig
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:43 pm
yeah
(this is jw)
January 10th, 2009 at 8:26 pm
I’m hasstling you because you havent been updating with new posts, if you dont something soon I’ll start subscribing to blogs made by real men =p
January 11th, 2009 at 2:11 am
GirlFlash, I didn’t know there are girls on the internet.
January 11th, 2009 at 3:51 am
Of course there aren’t. He’s a transvestite.
January 11th, 2009 at 8:44 am
http://www.thepoppenkast.com/forum/index.php?topic=1028
hey pigscene can we get some publicity
January 18th, 2009 at 5:41 am
End Of Transmission
January 28th, 2009 at 11:23 am
so this is dead?
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:51 am
wow!! Finally new news !
February 17th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
GODDAMNIT i can’t digest indie news without gay references and vitriol
you should be neutered for treason against gender, cuz you sure aint using your balls here
March 4th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
UPDATE
March 4th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
UPDATE THIS BLOG
March 4th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
IT IS A GOOD BLOG
March 4th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
LETS INDIE AND LETS INDIE, FUTURE INDIE GAMES OH YEAH~
March 10th, 2009 at 4:16 am
AH CONCUR
March 12th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Aurthur stop making sites where you talk to yourself and remake Total Klik
May 9th, 2009 at 2:37 am
this whole site just screams butthurt. I guess you needed a break from aping cave story though
May 11th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
im really gay ;B)
December 16th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Sun Tzu didn’t write in English. The original title did not really contain the word “art.”
December 16th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
o I’m slow. omgretarded
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